?

i didn't do much today,
just like any other day.
soon i'll be old and won't even know what happened.

paid 5$ to do a personality test

I really liked the fact that they congratulated me.

Also...

Possible Career Path for the INTJ:

Scientists

Engineers

Professors and Teachers

Medical Doctors / Dentists

Corporate Strategists and Organization Builders

Business Administrators / Managers

Military Leaders

Lawyers / Attorneys

Judges

Computer Programmers or Systems Analysts

Oops?

the laughing heart by charles bukowski

your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.

Gabrielle Aplin and Bastille - Dreams (Fleetwood Mac cover)

x

oh my god

iinet sent me a text telling me to "get excited" as my connection would be "ready to use within 48 hours of 2014-07-14."

i feel like i need to kill.

habits

if i had a song about my life it would probably go like this:

stop it nat stop stop stop stop it
stop eating shit nat stop stop stop stop stop it
stop thinking nat stop stop stop stop stop it
stop wanting nat stop stop stop stop stop it
stop failing nat stop stop stop stop stop it
please.
stop.

and the beats would sound like my puny heartbeats, as long as i'm here, i can't stop it.

Sun

I’m a mess, I guess.
It’s what I asked for, it’s what I needed.
Well, you know me better than that,
or at least you did and something happened.
But once again something’s happened.
The confidence you held in us is the rope we almost hung ourselves with.
At times I wonder if we really took the steps to break right through it.
I know that there were better days, but to see the light and to feel the rays.
Life was always back and forth and we were idling or making useless progress.
Waiting for the rain to stop.
Destination: beautiful.
Seems that I’m still waiting for the sun.
Someday will come back to us, if you’re willing let it go.
Why won’t you just let this be your sun?

It seems like yesterday we had the world our way. But some say we’re heading for destruction.

I’ll ask you “What in the world should we do?” 
This light is green our break is through.
Are we not trying or are we trying too hard?
Well, you know I never want to miss,
I hold on tight and reminisce.
But it’s bittersweet to me.
When time stands still as it’s trapped inside
the letterbox you gave back to me.
But I’m the one who keeps on reading.
But I’m the one who wants to let it go.
I’m the first to speak.
You’re the last to know.
Another scene that we’re creating,
I need to know if we’re still making useless progress.

[]

in a manner of speaking i don't understand

how love in silence becomes reprimand

but the way that i feel about you

is beyond words

in a manner of speaking, semantics won't do

in this life that we live we only make do

and the way that we feel

might have to be sacrified

so in a manner of speaking, i just want to say

that just like you, i should find a way

to tell you everything

by saying nothing

access to the internet should be a human right (a.k.a free)

i am supposed to be going to bed, i've been thinking of going to bed the entire day today. time here just passes so slowly, yet fast at the same time, i don't even know how i feel about the concept anymore. been settling into the new place, even though i would describe the whole process unsettling. it is my first time in perth during the holidays, that means i've got nothing to do all day, and setting up my internet broadband hasn't been going well, i am now barely surviving on a pocket wifi thing that is really stupid, who cares if you can fit into my pocket? you're slow and insufficient. i actually thought of starting a fundraiser; a 'nathalie's internet fund', yknow, a few dollars could help me get more data..? i've used 858MB today, 3GB is all i have left until the internet guy comes and fixes up my phone line. this is giving me anxiety. i'm not even sure that this blog post is worth the MB.

i sound like a geek.

but that is pretty much what's bothering me right now. and other bigger, more important grown-up things, of course. but i'm really really trying not to look at it.

they usually go away.


p.s. if you're kind enough, the fundraiser thing can be a thing.

p.p.s. if not, i'm totally joking.

Everyone's on their own trip. It's all good.

I think about this a lot. How everyone is having a very unique earthly experience. Everything is just you and projections of your perception. Nothing really exists. We are all one, just having different trips. 

22% and I need to pee

Just watched Sleeping Beauty, the original disney of course. (It says it was made in 1959, i mean.. my mom was 1 then.) 
watched it for the x time and i still love it. I guess my disappointment in Maleficent triggered this. I can't believe they made Prince Philip such a child in the movie, he was the only disney prince i loved! he actually fought for the princess. well, besides Shang from Mulan (that sexy beast..), but Mulan wasn't really a princess. I can't believe they made Maleficent so weak.. I need villains in stories.  

I just had a very.. unsettling feeling after the movie.

like chewing on expired gum,
or having drank too much coffee.

I have nothing more to say.

like how the end of my posts make you feel.

21

feeling quite uncomfortable at the moment, physically and generally (life wise), still on a mission to find a comfy position to lie in, 21 years of living and i still can't seem to master the art of reading/typing in bed.. i get neck and back aches as if i'm 72. I'm not sure why i'm back [here] really, maybe because i was reading my past posts and laughing. I have a very funny mind. can't remember why or how i stopped updating my blog, maybe i got busy, maybe i pretended to be.

i just think it'd be fun to document my 'thoughts' again, i might find this vaguely entertaining in the near future, who knows. hello future nat.

currently back home in sg, decided to fly back for a short two weeks. I say i'm back to fix my wisdom tooth, or kill it, but i'm mostly back for family. or food. family.
Although, i can't wait to be back in perth in my new apartment. /swoon

growing up has been such a chore,

i don't think i'm doing good at it,

am i really growing?

(my breasts sure aren't.)

i'm having a massive breakout,

(hormones in me need to get their shit straight)

i'm also not sure if i'm learning anything from the universe,

(for the most part i'm becoming more and more delusional/confused).




my tummy is growling, it sure knows what's up.
(supper)